‘Worry burnout’ is real. Breaking the cycle and creating a life of presence and purpose
We speak to Gloria Tay, experienced psychologist on how to cope with worry burnout. It’s not all doom and gloom, we promise!
Text: Rebecca Morais, Gloria Tay and Dr Oberdan Marianetti
Credits: OM-ICE retreat
When you are dealing with uncertainty over a long time it’s inevitable you’ll feel burnt out. There is only so much stress you can handle. This kind of all-consuming exhaustion during extreme stress is expected and completely normal, don’t worry we feel you.
We spoke to Gloria Tay, an experienced psychotherapist on how to cope with worry burnout. She is one of the therapists who works alongside Dr Oberdan Marienetti. It’s not all doom and gloom, there are ways to cope with the pandemic, we promise!
What is worry burnout?
Worry burnout could be linked with what psychologists call “learned helplessness”, this happens when people have a sense of overwhelming powerlessness after a trauma-like event. When the pandemic first happened, the stress may have motivated us to look for solutions, work around lockdowns, and adjust to a new routine. However, as the pandemic prolongs without a specific deadline, we learned that we could no longer have any control over the situation. The increase in uncertainty caused people to wonder what the point of caring is and why should we even pay attention to the updates on news, resulting in emotional numbing. It created an overwhelming sense of powerlessness as we realised that we could not control everything.
Burnout refers to all-consuming exhaustion and detachment both physically and emotionally. Most of the time, people use this word when referring to work. However, since the pandemic, people have been feeling this burnout regarding their lives outside work as well. Burnout can happen to anyone when they are dealing with long and unending uncertainty and trauma, especially with the pandemic ongoing for two years and counting; it has definitely caused a lot more burnout than usual.
What’s the difference between being stressed and being burned out?
These are some of the pointers to take note of with regards to the difference between stress and burnout:
● Stress is an individual’s response to an external situation caused due to adverse circumstances. Burnout is a state of mental and emotional tiredness because of continuous exposure to stress.
● When someone feels stressed, they feel anxious, moody, guilty, etc. However, when someone is burnt out, they feel hypertensive, mentally depressed, impatient and irritable, etc.
● With stress, an individual encounters fatigue. However, with burnout, an individual encounters chronic exhaustion.
● In stress, an individual might find it challenging to concentrate and forget things easily. Conversely, forgetfulness is a sign of burnout.
● With stress, an individual experiences physiological changes such as increased blood pressure or heartbeat. On the other hand, an individual can face psychosomatic complaints with burnout.
How do I know I’m burnt out?
Burnout affects one’s health physically, psychologically, and emotionally.
The physical effects of burnout include:
● Exhaustion
● Generalised aches
● Headaches
● Gastrointestinal disorders
● Hypertension
● Difficulty sleeping and/or disrupted sleep cycle
● Muscle tension
The psychological effects of burnout include:
● Reduced performance and productivity
● Anxiety
● Detachment
● Low mood
● Difficulty in concentrating
● Lack of creativity
● Fatigue
● Loss of purpose
● Quickness to anger
● Emotional numbness
● An increasingly cynical outlook on life and work
These are some of the emotional effects of burnout, these include:
● Anger
● Irritability
● Negative feelings towards self and others
● Pessimism of one’s life
“At the OM-ICE process, we created a series of processes that allow people to witness their own innate power and ability to adapt and tolerate life’s stressors. This can help embed an understanding that they also have pre-existing, internal resources to tap into for better balance” - Dr Oberdan Marienetti.
Credits: OM-ICE retreat
How can we find peace in the chaos that is the ongoing pandemic?
We can cope with burnout when we first acknowledge that we are experiencing burnout, and it is not weak to feel that way. Once we acknowledge this, we can build resilience and regain hope. Some of the ways we can cope are to make enough time for restful sleep.
Being physically active does help to cope with burnout as well. Eating nutritious meals and staying hydrated is just as important as well. Last but not least, find ways that will help you relax your mind, body, and soul. Mindfulness practice can help to improve relaxation.
In all things, there must always be a balance. Depending on each individual’s ability to handle stress and situations, sometimes rest ethics might even be more important than work ethics.
Tip 1: Create a physically and/or mentally safe space for yourself.
Even when working at home, there has to be a different physical place to work and rest and relax. For example, if possible, try not to work in your bedroom, as it should be a place of relaxation for you after a full day’s work. Physically segregating space for work and rest is very important. If the physical space is hard to segregate, you can do it mentally. Such as taking breaks between, closing your eyes and sitting in a comfortable position, and clearing your mind even for a while.
Tip 2: Be mindful of how you spend your time.
Due to the pandemic, many people have started working from home instead of physically in their workplace. Because of this arrangement, many times, office hours such as 9am to 5pm have changed to working as long as you are awake until you fall asleep. This has caused a lot of disruption as people feel the need to work as long as they are awake. In addition, some people have turned their dining table into an office, virtual meeting room, and dine-in place.
Weekdays and weekends somehow start to feel the same. Especially so if one is currently not working. Therefore, tracking how we spend our time is very important; this will help us to see how we want to allocate time for different activities throughout the day. On top of that, it will also help us reduce the amount of time spent on media and help us to include a variety of activities into our daily lives. Tracking your time/schedule will also help you be aware of your mental availability and stop us from falling back on becoming auto-pilot.
Tip 3: Focus on the present time and day.
Thinking about what the future would hold can get overwhelming sometimes. There are tons of questions running through your head during this time, such as “When can I travel again?”, “Would I be able to find a job?”, “When can I see my family again?”. To stay present during this pandemic, allow yourself to have mental and physical space to worry in your schedule.
For example, allow yourself to worry for 15 to 20 minutes a day. During this period, you allow your worried thoughts to arise and put them away when the schedule is up. You can also make a worry jar/journal to keep your worry thoughts together and put them away once you have written them down. By doing so, you create mental blocks so your mind does not get exhausted.
Mindfulness practice might not eliminate anxiety, but it will help you stay grounded during this uncertain time and give you a safe space for your mental health.
About Gloria Tay
Gloria is a psychotherapist since 2013. She has been working with parents to help them understand their children’s behaviour better and to be better equip with parenting skills. She also works alongside individuals through their journey in understanding and coping with mental disorders and those who are going through life transitions and have reached a roadblock in terms of their direction in life and relationships with other individuals.
About Dr Oberdan Marianetti
Dr Oberdan Marianetti is the founder of OM-ICE and practitioner of several wellbeing practices in Singapore, including Wim Hof Method and Oxygen Advantage. Dr Oberdan is a qualified psychologist, clinical sexologist and opened his first clinic in Singapore in 2015 to serve the local community, focusing on relationship and sexuality challenges. Intrigued by the way the mind works, Dr Oberdan first qualified as a psychologist over 15 years ago and has worked with both corporates and individuals. After successfully transitioning out of the corporate world twice, he is well-versed in navigating and understanding it from both ends of the spectrum.
