2021 relationship advice: What women want
Modern love: Trust, loyalty, chemistry …what are the key traits in a romantic partner? Here’s what’s important for those looking for love
Text: Livvie B
Looking for love? With the rise of dating apps in Singapore, as well as restrictions on social activities brought about by the pandemic, the face of modern love and dating has changed drastically. With this in mind, The Soothe set out to understand what women want in a relationship, and how they go about looking for love and meeting a new partner.
We talked to women aged between 25-50 about what they look for in a romantic partner. Our responders work in a range of industries and are each at a different point in their personal relationship journey. Here’s what they said they want in a relationship in 2021.
Where to meet ‘The One’
In Singapore, around 32% of people are understood to use dating apps such as Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel when looking for love. Over half of women interviewed said they prefer to meet prospective partners through a friend, and this response was more common in those who were already in a stable relationship and were sharing how they’d met their current partner.
Over 20% of women said they used dating apps, with Tinder being the most popular, followed by Bumble, popular for its belief in challenging outdated heterosexual norms by allowing women to make the first move. Meeting partners through work or networking events was the third most popular way of women getting what they want in a relationship in 2021 amongst those we spoke to.
The importance of trust
When quizzed on the single most important character trait women look for in a partner, trustworthiness and loyalty took the top spot, with almost 40% of women listing either of these traits.
Chemistry and the feeling of having a true connection with a partner was a close second response when looking for love, with empathy, positivity and emotional intelligence also amongst the traits valued in a partner.
When asked for the five most important traits in a romantic partner, trust and loyalty once again were the most common responses, followed by kindness and strong family values.
Arrogance: The biggest turnoff
Whilst the responses to the biggest turnoff were relatively varied, rudeness, arrogance, having an ego, and bad manners were popular responses, closely followed by lying and cheating. Bad personal hygiene, laziness, and having dirty nails also made it to the list of turnoffs.
Occupation and income — do we care?
Hands up if you’ve stalked someone’s LinkedIn profile before agreeing to a date? Is that all of us? Almost all the women we spoke to said that their partner’s occupation and income is of some importance. When probed, the two most common reasons for the value placed on this were having similar incomes to support their lifestyle, and being able to provide for a family.
The women we spoke to also noted that their partner’s occupation is important as they want the person they’re in a relationship with to enjoy their career.
Those who responded that occupation and income was not of any importance was almost always followed up with the fact that they were themselves financially independent.
How important are looks in a relationship?
When questioned on how important looks are, the respondents were quite torn, however, almost all agreed that looks play some level of importance, whether for ‘the initial connection/attraction,’ or so that they don’t ‘get offended looking at the face for a good chunk of the day.’
Others noted that they value looks less now than they did previously when dating. Several women clarified that whilst looks play some level of importance when meeting a new partner, other values are of higher importance to them.
Changing attitudes
To understand how people’s attitudes develop with age, we asked the women if what they want from a relationship in 2021 has changed over time. Whilst a few participants said that their approach and the qualities required has not changed at all, most noted that as they have grown and evolved, so too has their attitude to relationships.
Want to learn more on relationships ? Check out how to find your love language, how to cope with a long-distance relationship and how to steer clear of emotionally abusive relationships in The Soothe’s dedicated relationship section.
