All By Myself: How To Embrace & Enjoy Time Alone this Valentine’s Day

Read on to learn how solitude can be beneficial for your mental and emotional wellbeing, and what you can do to relish your me-time

Text: Livvie B & Rebecca Morais

Embracing self-love this Valentine’s Day

COVID-19 restrictions mean spending a whole lot more time by yourself. If you are already feeling lonely, Valentine’s Day can seem like all too much. While 83% of people in Singapore agree that they’re coping effectively with COVID-19 (compared to 79% globally), they are also struggling with loneliness due to the safety restrictions (84% in Singapore vs 78% globally).

Thanks to working from home, social distancing, and caps on group sizes, we’re all more lonesome than ever. But, how can we embrace a solitary status, or even start to enjoy time alone despite seeing Cupid’s arrow striking all the love birds?

Lady sipping coffee and enjoying alone time

Understand yourself

Most of us are pretty familiar with whether we lean towards introversion or extroversion, but having a more solid understanding of our personality type can help us to identify why we might not always enjoy time alone. Even those of us who fall into Jung’s extroverted category need moments of solitude; a study by Durham University sought to examine attitudes towards relaxation and business, and found that the top five activities deemed to be restful — reading, spending time in nature, being alone, listening to music and doing nothing — are more often done solo.

Whilst many expected introverts to handle lockdown and social solitude better than their introverted counterparts, research showing that they were less likely to be experiencing mental health issues due to quarantine measures suggests that things are less clear-cut. Understanding ourselves and growing self-awareness is key to empowering ourselves to make changes and live our lives confidently, with or without company.

Lonely vs alone

Alone

adjective [ after verb ], adverb

without other people

Lonely

adjective

unhappy because you are not with other people

We often confuse loneliness with being alone. Loneliness can have repercussions including anxiety and depression, thus, recognising that this is different from being alone and understanding that time spent in solitude can be beneficial for our mental and emotional wellbeing is one of the vital first steps in embracing time spent single. 

Set aside a power hour

In her 2020 book, Power Hour, Adrienne Herbert recommends waking up one hour earlier each day and dedicating this time to simply being you, whether this involves taking a long walk, reading, or working towards a side hustle goal. Adrienne is adamant that this time should be spent alone and without distractions — your one selfish time of the day and a bite-sized way to start learning to love being by yourself.

Logging off the social grid can be beneficial for overall wellbeing

Unplug from your social lives and social media

Whilst social media is often used for keeping in touch and connecting with friends and family, substituting real connections with social media can actually enhance feelings of loneliness. We’re all guilty of sharing the best version of ourselves online, but when trying to actively enjoy time alone, logging out of devices can be a vital first step. Doing so enables us to be present at the moment and to make the most of our time.

The more you do it, the easier it gets

Research shows that we often feel inhibited from engaging in activities alone, especially if others can see us doing so. However, as with anything, it’s about training ourselves to embrace the notion and taking it step by step. Adrienne notes the power of repetition; it takes, on average, 66 days for a new behaviour to become a habit, so the more we prioritise our time alone, the quicker it will start to feel natural.

Talk to yourself like someone you love

Practice self-love

One of the things Adrienne is adamant about is that we should treat our hour of alone time as we’d treat having drinks or lunch with a friend — we shouldn’t cancel, and if we do, we should feel pretty guilty about it. Self-Love is key in embracing time spent in solitude; aside from not cancelling your own date, doing nice things for yourself, such as lighting an extra candle or making the effort to cook a nutritious meal, can make embracing alone time a little easier.

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