Should we be friends with our co-workers?
Grabbing a coffee for a team-mate on the way to the office, picking your lunch spot, planning office birthday drinks and just a chat by the water cooler were all so normal pre-pandemic. We explore how our relationship with our colleagues has evolved during the pandemic and weigh the good and the drawbacks of office friendships.
Text: Rebecca Morais
A recent BBC article reported that a 2016 study published in Personnel Psychology showed that colleagues who thought of one another as friends scored higher on performance reviews.
But how has the pandemic changed our bond with our colleagues? Workers around the world are accepting that pre-pandemic office environment is a thing of the past. After-work drinks, office birthday celebrations, work anniversaries and key milestone revelries are reluctantly organised and always in-line with prevailing health and safety measures. We then ask the question – should we be friends with our co-workers? Has our professional rapport changed? Do we shy away from physical contact or do we crave our colleagues attention and friendship more now than ever before?
We ask an account executive at V&V what she thought and explore the pros and cons of finding work besties.
"I think it is definitely helpful to develop a close relationship, no matter how small, with co-workers. Through our mutual willingness to open up does lead to intrinsic friendship. This easiness also makes me look forward to coming into work.
The comradeship also helps to better judge the person’s mood in the office. It makes us understand why someone might be having a good day or a bad one. We can then provide the support needed. I will want that in return as well.
But finding the balance is key and finding that right balance is critical.”
Amber, V&V Senior Account Executive
So why is it crucial to form healthy relationships with co-workers – let’s break it down.
Pros
1. Building Trust
Understanding your colleagues' personalities, motivations and perspectives make it easier to trust and work with your colleagues. During challenging team discussions or client meetings, there is nothing better than to know you can trust your team mates backing you up and there is genuine solidarity.
2. Increasing Productivity
Forming a good relationship with your co-workers can empower you and allow for better performance. Work stops being a chore and more an inspiration to push your own professional boundaries, build confidence and elevate your skills.
3. Boosting Support and Collaboration
A genuine friendship with your co-workers can provide more opportunities for collaboration and encourage creative thinking. A positive relationship also guarantees a relaxed environment for better exchange of ideas.
4. Mitigating Stress
Stress is inevitable in the workplace, but how you cope with it and the impact on your mental health and overall wellbeing is better managed when you can share with your team members. If you feel you’re offered a safe space to openly discuss your challenges, most difficult situations can be dealt with discretion and empathy.
5. Improving Job Satisfaction
Your interactions with your co-workers can contribute to how satisfied you feel at work. You will feel seen and appreciated in a mutually respectful and stress-free work environment. Deep interpersonal connections can provide more positivity on a day-to-day basis and make your work feel more empowered.
Cons
1. Competition
There is healthy competition and then there is ‘COMPETITION’. Trying to get the boss’ approval and constant praise while undermining a collaborative work culture can lead to a toxic work environment. Demoralising colleagues, manipulation and playing favourites can lead to an ultimate downfall if not carefully managed.
2. Distractions
Aren’t we all guilty of chatting a bit too much instead of focusing at work? While office chatter is healthy, too much noise can often be difficult for colleagues to drown out intentionally. Practice self-awareness and sensitivity in these situations; if you notice a colleague plugging in their headphones or leaving the office, you might want to tone it down a notch.
3. Privacy
Some colleagues value discretion and prefer to compartmentalise work, home, and social aspects of their lives. Respecting boundaries by reading body language and the tone of communication is key in knowing when it’s appropriate to share about last night’s escapades or filtering out details to make it sound like a quiet night-in.
4. Professionalism
While being open with your co-workers helps with overall wellbeing, it may diminish boundaries and compromise professional opinion of you amongst your colleagues. Drawing healthy lines between being supportive, having a banter and avoiding an intrusive, sensitive conversation is critical.
5. Less constructive feedback
When you're friends with your co-workers, you may receive less constructive feedback that inhibits your professional growth. Friends find it challenging to critique one another and evaluate each other's performances without bias.
We believe human-bonds, friendship and empathy are paramount in the world we live in today. It is understandable to want to connect with people you spend most of your time with. Your relationship with your colleagues is crucial to your success. The trick though is to find the perfect balance of mutual solidarity, emotional support and respectful professionalism to create a lasting alliance!
