Stand up for yourself in the workplace (and not lose your job)

Setting boundaries and prevent burnout at work without compromising your career

Text: Karen Tee

It’s a known fact that our work environment has a large impact on our mental health. After all, most of us spend about 40 to 50 hours a week — if not more — on our jobs. And even in these times when rapid digitalisation (paired with a pandemic) has made it possible for many of us to work from home (WFH), the people we interact with, whether on Zoom, Slack, WhatsApp or email, can affect our state of mind.

So, it’s no surprise that we face workplace challenges even though we’re currently spending less time in the office. From a colleague we can’t get along with, to a boss who contacts you at all times of the day, niggly issues can occupy way too much headspace and begin to affect our mental health.

Studies by Singapore’s Health Promotion Board found that the mental wellbeing of working Singaporeans is lower compared to the general population. More recently during the pandemic, a study conducted by the National University Health System’s Mind Science Centre found that 61 per cent of those working from home reported feeling stressed and overworked.

“As people see their to-do lists never shrinking, their anxiety grows as they think it’s a reflection of their performance,” explains Subba Vaidyanathan, a mindfulness practitioner, corporate coach and co-founder of BeingSattva, a retreat in Ubud, Bali. “The biggest fear people have right now is of losing their job, and this chronic fear could make people susceptible to mental health issues.”

Instead of staying silent, you can help yourself by being assertive and standing up for yourself when faced with difficult job situations (in a diplomatic way of course). Together with Subba, Su-Yen Wong, a strategic advisor, professional speaker, board director of multiple organisations and founder of consultancy Bronze Phoenix (Singapore) share their techniques on how to maintain equanimity and calm when tackling even the trickiest of workplace issues.

Pick your battles carefully

Are you taking on the career of two people (or more), resulting in overworking and long hours that eat into your weekends? Instead of overextending yourself in the workplace, focus your efforts by asking yourself which issues are most worth tackling first. “I tend to be guided by the notion of impact and I try to place the issue in context of the bigger picture,” says Su-Yen.

Reflect on the issue from different points of view and bear in mind organisational constraints and current pressures in the business so you can put forward a reasonable case for yourself. “I've always had greater success tackling an issue when I invest time and effort to understand the opposing views. This helps me frame discussions and solutions that address potential objections,” Su-Yen continues.  

For example, if you’d like to make a case for better work-life balance, it makes sense to come up with some proof points of why drawing up boundaries will make you a more effective worker during office hours.

Re-frame your mindset

For problems that you may not be able to change, such as unsociable timings for work meetings, or the sound of your husband’s booming Zoom voice while you’re both working from home, find a way to change your reactions to these potential triggers. For instance, you could create a “happy place” to retreat to when you need some me-time. Or leave your desk to sit in a different area of the office, such as designated breakout areas or your favourite couch in the rest area.

Alternatively, engage in an activity you enjoy to change your state of mind, such as going for a walk outside in nature, treating yourself to a coffee or playing uplifting music in your AirPods.

While some of us may be lucky enough to have a meditation space  — whether at work or at home — you can make do with something as simple as putting an uplifting phrase on your bulletin board or a calming picture as your computer wallpaper.

When you feel bothered, take time out to engage in a simple breathing practice. “When we feel stressed, we breathe fast and shallow. By reversing our breath to deep and long we can slow the mind,” Subba advises. “Start by taking a few deep breaths, then follow up by extending the exhale to slow down the mind even more. Simply observe your breath as it flows in and out to calm you down.

For more guidance, there are many meditation apps such as Calm or Headspace that offer nifty short “mind clearers” to help you cope with feelings of anger, frustration or anxiety.

Take baby steps

Understand that it will take time for you to gain support for your cause. “Start by discussing these matters with trusted or non-judgmental friends outside of work to see what are accepted practices at other workplaces,” recommends Subba. It also makes sense to speak to colleagues or people in human resources to understand the company’s guidelines. This helps you frame the issue before you raise it as something that needs addressing.

He advises, “Take small steps helps to grow consensus and support for the issue you are facing.” This will also help you manage your own personal expectations and to keep frustration at bay if it takes longer than you might think to implement something you care about.

Propose fair solutions

To bring about change, focus on engaging and influencing others so that they understand what the desired outcome is that you hope to achieve. In the words of the late feminist icon and American supreme court justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, "Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you."

In other words, it’s most effective to connect the issue you’re facing with its impact on the business to get people to listen. For instance, rather than saying “Working long hours makes me burnt out,” say “Having enough rest keeps employers sharper and more effective when working.”

To ensure that others are in the right mental space to hear you out try to schedule a meeting to discuss what’s on your mind. It can be daunting to challenge your bosses’ expectations of your working style or to talk about issues like workplace bullying, so prepare a script with key points ahead of time. Do listen to others and be prepared to compromise instead of forcing your point.

Su-Yen says, “Entering discussions with unwavering views, ready for a fight, tends to be met with defensiveness which ultimately does not get you any closer to your desired outcome.”

You can also proactively propose fair solution. For example, if you need to go offline from 5–9pm to spend time with your kids, suggest that you allocate time later at night to look through your emails. You’ll be taken far more seriously if you can articulate a possible way forward, rather than simply complaining about a problem.

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