Transforming worries to wise concerns

If you catch yourself spiralling into unproductive, excessive worrying, Toby Ouvry shares some tips on how you can transform it to a healthier, more positive thinking pattern

Text: Toby Ouvry, Hui Yi Phua

credit: Liza Summer

All of us have surely worried over something in our lives. And while it is entirely normal to feel that way, often times these feelings of anxiety and restlessness can be unproductive and even trigger us to spiral into persistent, unhealthy negative thinking patterns.

If you find yourself stuck in a never-ending cycle of worrying, or feel paralysed and unable to get things done due to your worries, here are some key thoughts and mindful pointers by Toby Ouvry, renowned mindfulness teacher and trainer with 15 years of coaching experience, on how you can transform your worrying to more of a wise concern.

A confidence-related issue

Toby, who is also the author of the book 'Engaged Mindfulness – What mindfulness is and how we can apply it to our daily lives’, suggests that sometimes, the reason we worry is because we lack confidence in ourselves. However, worrying more only further depletes our confidence, making it a vicious cycle.

To prevent this, Toby recommends developing our confidence, faith and trust in our own ability to meet our problems well, and in believing that reaching a solution is in fact, very possible. Practicing this positive, can-do attitude every day can slowly turn it into a habit, which will make us more resilient in the face of challenges and allow us to feel less intimidated and oppressed by our problems and concerns.

Approaching this with different perspectives

Mental / Psychological

While normal amounts of worrying is deemed acceptable and normal, excessive amounts can prove to be dangerous to your mental well-being. Rumination, the habit of continuously thinking about negative thoughts, can stem from constant worrying, and is one of the symptoms of several mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety.

To avoid rumination and successfully turn our worries into wise concern, Toby advises us to think deliberately, creatively and intelligently about our challenges instead of focusing all our attention on the negative parts. Another helpful tip is to know when to stop thinking for now and accept that nothing more can be done for the time being.

Somatic

Our bodies can also play a part in transforming our worries into wise concern. According to Taoist philosophy and meditation, the stomach is the seat of our worrying in the body. Our solar plexus chakra, which is located in close proximity to out stomach, is our centre of power and confidence. As such, Toby suggests that we try mindfully imposing a feeling of strength and calm in this central space, and see if it helps change the way we process our problems.

Plan to worry less

Besides turning your worries into wise concern, a long-term method to reduce your worries effectively is to make plans. Planning can make your worries work for you – instead of constantly thinking about the problems and challenges you face, taking action to address your worries can disrupt rumination and help you arrive at a possible solution.

Toby emphasizes that the key practice here is to be more mindful. Whenever you are thinking of a challenge in your life, take notice of it and ask yourself: “Am I worrying about this, or am I planning a way to deal with it?” From here, there are two train of thoughts that come to mind:

• If you discover you are worrying, then stop worrying and start planning.

• If you have already made a plan, then you can stop worrying anyway, because you have a plan.

Either way, it is clear that planning can help alleviate your worries, so plan more to worry less!

Toby Ouvry is an experienced mindfulness teacher and trainer of 20 years, and the author of the book ‘Engaged Mindfulness – What mindfulness is and how we can apply it to our daily lives’. He is also the founder and principle facilitator at Integral Meditation Asia, where he delivers mindfulness programs to both the public and corporate sectors. Toby’s passion lies in empowering people and organizations to greater levels of capability, effectiveness, creativity and well-being through the applied practice of mindfulness and meditation.

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