Strange and unlikely things that comfort us
And it’s nothing to be embarrassed about
Text: Shannon T
We know scent candles, hot chocolate, and soft blankets are great at making us feel safe and snug, but have you ever felt comforted by something strange and unlikely that should really make one go ewww? Well apparently, that's a thing and here’s why. Unpleasant or unlikely sights, smells, sounds, touches and tastes can bring us comfort when we don't expect them to due to positive memories and experiences we associate them with.
Smell
Our sense of smell has the closest relationship to our memory sense among all of our five senses. It is powerful enough to hark us back to a time or place from our past.
Dr Elena Touroni, consultant psychologist and co-founder of The Chelsea Psychology Clinic, tells Metro.co.uk:
“Our sense of smell can act as a powerful shortcut to memory. In fact, smell is the most evocative memory sense that we have. As soon as you smell something that has an association to a particular time in your life, it will evoke the emotion that connects to that smell.”
That should explain our favourite chou chou or bantal busuk, both of which translates to “smelly pillow”, referring to a pillow or stuffed toy that accompanies the owner from the cradle and possibly to the coffin. While we get chided by parents for holding onto these smelly items, they provide comfort and emotional support, existing as a record of our experiences through scent.
We ask friends and The Soothe team what smells they relate to:
Lynda: The smell of cut grass always reminds me of fresh Spring mornings at primary school when they get the huge lawnmowers out and cut the playing fields. You knew that great(ish) summer weather was on the way!
YY: I love the smell of Suki, my pet dog, whenever she comes back from her grooming session.
CG: The smell of cigarettes at lift lobbies is disgusting but somehow super comforting - it reminds me of my childhood.
Natasha: Whenever my neighbour smokes a cigar, the smell reminds me of Christmas. I also enjoy the scent of a stale recording studio that shows how much work has been put in by musicians.
Shan: Somewhat like a chou chou, I have a 20-year-old blanket that I can never throw away. I wash it occasionally, but it goes back to this specific smell that makes me feel safe.
Rachel: This is kind of weird, but I like the smell of lifts? But not just any lift, I prefer the ones in older shopping centres.
Adeline: Oh! I like the smell of new books or the plastic wraps for new books. New year, new books for school, new plastic wraps.
Other senses
However, this also works with the other senses, such as seeing something rooted in positive memory.
Dr Touroni shares that “the thing itself doesn't have to be particularly pleasant to provoke a positive memory", as it's more about the association rather than enjoyment of the thing itself.
Functional use
Still embarrassed about your comfort item? Well, you shouldn't be! Positive associations as such serve a practical use in therapy.
“It's very common, and we purposefully use it as a psychological strategy in therapy – especially for those who have experienced trauma or have emotional difficulties, for example.”
