How crying can actually help with releasing negative emotions
Shedding a tear can ease anxiety, sadness and stress. Here’s why having a good cry, can be a good thing
Text: Tiff H
As the emotional rollercoaster of the global pandemic and local lockdowns continues, we find ourselves feeling demotivated, worried about the future and a tad hopeless. Putting on a brave face gets exhausting and as kids, we were often told to restrain our emotions, thanks to so much stigma surrounding shedding a tear. However, researchers have found that crying can benefit both your body and your mind health, and these benefits begin at birth with a baby’s first cry up all the way through to old age.
Culturally, crying is often deemed a sign of weakness, says Ms Sarah Poh, a mental-health counsellor and founder of The Therapy Platform, a therapy booking platform. "It is normal to cry when we feel hurt or when we feel someone's hurt. However, there is a negative association of crying with 'not being strong enough' or being 'like a child'. These negative associations result in shame."
So, it’s time we took the shame out of crying. If you're sad or hurt or angry, you need to find something to resolve those feelings, and if you don't, you might express yourself in more inappropriate ways, such as lashing out at family or friends. We speak to Carolyn Kee, consultant psychologist about why a good cry is sometimes all we need to “let it all out”.
What is the science behind crying?
When it comes to emotional tears, our brain detects feelings of sadness and triggers the release of neurotransmitters to the eye area. This stimulates the production of tears in our tear glands.
What are the physical and mental benefits of crying?
Lubrication: On the physical side, tears lubricate the eyes, which is important for vision. These are known as continuous tears, which consist of 98% water and have antimicrobial properties, thus killing bacteria and cleaning the eyes.
Clearing debris: Reflex tears clear debris, like smoke and dust, from your eyes.
Stress release: Emotional tears contain more stress hormones and toxins than reflex tears; this suggests that crying when in distress helps to eliminate these substances from our bodies.
Eliciting social support: Crying conveys vulnerability and a need for help, thus triggering empathy and compassion, leading to increased social connection and support. The elicitation of social support may then lead to improvements in mood.
Crying is one of the best ways to self-soothe. Researchers theorise that the release of hormones such as oxytocin, opioids and endorphins, as well as the cognitive and behavioural changes that occur when you cry, may be the underlying mechanisms that explain the mood-regulating and stress-reducing effects of crying.
Would you ever prescribe crying to a patient?
When your body feels like crying, it is good to allow yourself to cry. Holding back tears may drain your energy and increase your stress. However, crying should come naturally and should not be prescribed or forced. Some studies suggest that individuals with certain personality types or anxiety or mood conditions may actually feel worse after crying.
Other factors that determine whether crying improves or worsens a person's mood include the triggers or reasons for crying, the qualitative features of the crying behaviour, and the reactions of others to the crying.
When does crying become a red flag when it comes to your patients?
Crying may be a sign of depression or a neurological condition when a person cries easily over small things, cries more frequently and for a longer duration than they typically do, cries without knowing why, and finds it hard to stop crying once it starts.
Is it possible to stop yourself crying?
If you’re ever in a situation where you need to avoid crying, such as in a work environment or in a heated argument, you can use any of the following:
Focus on controlling your breathing
Blink and move your eyes, which can prevent tears from spilling out
Physically step away from a stressful situation
Shift your thoughts and frame of mind
This article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
About Carolyn Kee
Carolyn worked as a psychologist at the Institute of Mental Health’s (IMH) Child Guidance Clinic (CGC) for 20 years from 1995 to 2015 and has extensive experience treating children and adolescents who have difficulties with stress, anxiety and depression, panic attacks, grief, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, autism spectrum disorder and behavioural issues.
