All by myself: How to embrace and enjoy time alone

Alone vs Lonely. Time alone may feel particularly painful right now, but there are myriad benefits to embracing solitude during social distancing

Text: Livvie B

man-staring-out-of-a-window-all-by-myself.jpg

‘Alone time’ has taken on a whole different meaning to many of us over the past year. What used to feel like a luxury — sneaking away from your desk for two minutes to a cup of coffee and a breather, or an hour of selfish television choices when the rest of the family has gone to bed — is now state-mandated. Thanks to working from home, social distancing, and caps on group sizes, we’re on our tod more than ever. But, how can we embrace a solitary status, or even start to enjoy time alone?

Understand yourself

Most of us are pretty familiar with whether we lean towards introversion or extroversion, but having a more solid understanding of our personality type can help us to identify why we might not always enjoy time alone. Even those of us who fall into Jung’s extroverted category need moments of solitude; a study by Durham University sought to examine attitudes towards relaxation and business, and found that the top five activities deemed to be restful — reading, spending time in nature, being alone, listening to music and doing nothing — are more often done solo.

Whilst many expected introverts to handle lockdown and social solitude better than their introverted counterparts, research showing that they were less likely to be experiencing mental health issues due to quarantine measures suggests that things are less clear-cut. Understanding ourselves and growing self-awareness is key to empowering ourselves to make changes and live our lives confidently, with or without company for improved mental and emotional wellbeing.

woman-reads-a-book-on-the-windowsill-enjoy-time-alone.jpg

Lonely vs alone

  • Alone
    adjective [ after verb ]adverb
    without other people

  • Lonely
    adjective
    unhappy because you are not with other people

We often confuse loneliness with being alone. Loneliness can have repercussions including anxiety and depression, thus, recognising that this is different to being alone and understanding that time spent in solitude can be beneficial for our mental and emotional wellbeing is one of the vital first steps in embracing time spent single. 

Un-social media

Whilst social media is often used for keeping in touch and connecting with friends and family, substituting real connections with social media can actually enhance feelings of loneliness. We’re all guilty of sharing the best version of ourselves online, but when trying to actively enjoy time alone, logging out of device can be a vital first step. Doing so enables us to be present in the moment and to make the most of our time.

Set aside a power hour

In her 2020 book, Power Hour, Adrienne Herbert recommends waking up one hour earlier each day and dedicating this time to simply being you, whether this involves taking a long walk, reading, or working towards a side hustle goal. Adrienne is adamant that this time should be spent alone and without distractions — your one selfish time of the day and a bite-sized way to start learning to love being by yourself and to enjoy time alone.

Practice makes perfect

Research shows that we often feeling inhibited from engaging in activities alone, especially if others can see us doing so. However, as with anything, it’s about training ourselves to embrace the notion and taking it step by step. Adrienne notes the power of repetition; it takes, on average, 66 days for a new behaviour to become a habit, so the more we prioritise our time alone, the quicker it will start to feel natural.

Treat yourself as you’d treat others

One of the things Adrienne is adamant about is that we should treat our hour of alone time as we’d treat having drinks or lunch with a friend — we shouldn’t cancel, and if we do, we should feel pretty guilty about it. Self-Love is key in embracing time spent in solitude; aside from not cancelling your own date, doing nice things for yourself, such as lighting an extra candle or making the effort to cook a nutritious meal, can make embracing alone time a little easier.


Previous
Previous

What is cancel culture: Should it be cancelled?

Next
Next

Written in the stars: Career advice for astrology signs